My latest entry stirred up a little more response than I had anticipated. There’s a jaded part of me that thinks no one ever reads the stuff I put online, indeed with very little evidence to make me think otherwise. An email last week, from a reader flagged in me that people do actually stumble upon my site from time to time, and then, comments, text messages and emails following my last blog post made the flag start waving. We have lift off!
Well great, people are reading my posts, hurray! However, people’s reactions brought up in me some painful realizations. I am way more sensitive than I ever believed myself to be (this is interesting, because I’ve always known I’m sensitive, but now I understand my sensitivity in a new way.) Another realization is this, even with all the yoga moves and meditating I do, I still overthink big time and get stuck in my head. This is just where I am right now. And in a weird way this makes me think of evolution. That, as a species, we will continue to mindlessly do something until we understand that it no longer serves the higher good (by higher good, I do mean that which serves the entire planet, not just our human interests)…and right now I am feeling like in order to serve my highest good (evolve), I gotta get outta my head and into my heart.
An Outsider Looking in
In terms of Oneness, this action/reaction process is not good or bad, (no matter how strong the emotion feels) it just is. By observing my sensitivity and reactive pain-body, I know that if I am to continue putting my thoughts out there, I have to leave room for interpretation and simply allow others to react in their own way, on their own terms. Like art work, once the artist finishes the painting and hangs it on the wall, individuals come across the piece and react in their own unique way. My writing is no different. Each piece is simply an expression in time and space, once completed, best to let it go and trust the expression will serve its Divine purpose (if only as part of my own unravelling.)
Ultimately, writing for me serves to express and release aspects of myself I no longer want to be holding. I can communicate with myself in a way that helps me to see things from a different point of view, a more objective one, like an outsider looking in. This process then helps me to detach from my emotions, thoughts and feelings and channel the energy into a piece of art (or writing!) What I know is this: how we react is completely about our own learning, not about what we are reacting to.
Our evolution is an inside job, one where we take 100% responsibility for everything we think and feel. As we master our thoughts and feelings, our actions and words will naturally align with a more grounded, compassionate and sane perspective. As the mind heals, so will everything else, including our precious planet Earth.
I am Not My Emotions
The week has brought with it some intense emotions and a curious confusion. I feel my old self resurfacing to haunt me; a tired, hurt girl that doesn’t know what she is doing, who to turn to, where to go and thus, is on her knees asking for help. She distances herself from others, removes herself from social situations and limits her openness for fear of being ridiculed and abandoned. The multi-dimensional aspect of living comes over me; a deep knowing that the pain of past experiences will continue to be revealed in the present until consciously expressed and released through loving awareness and acceptance.
So now, when I am working through some undesirable, low-frequency emotion, I allow it to move through me with more light and love. Watching the emotion, the tears, the obsessive thinking becomes detached. I remind myself I am not my emotions, but something much greater. Accepting the emotion serves as a release of the old pattern, as I consciously observe the pain in order to go deeper into truth and wisdom.
Here is where it all gets really good. As I accept and take responsibility for what I am feeling, I see it more clearly. With clarity, the wisdom and truth of our own inner guide takes over to free us from ourselves…or more like, to free us from our egos. Our ego drives the idea of fear and separateness, which is ultimately unreal, so any time we are feeling bad, it is because the ego is calling the shots.
Healing is a Process
Healing is a process. It is not a quick-fix, step-by-step guide solution (though there is infinite guidance out there if you’re asking for it.) It requires patience, diligence and a deep commitment to your own healing and restoration. Above all else, healing requires love. A willingness on our part to surrender it all to Love’s gentle call. To stop blaming, attacking and judging the outer (including our own body) by recognizing the outer is only ever a reflection of the inner. Then, with a humble recognition of our divinity and power, we bow our heads in grace of our connectedness and ultimate Oneness.
The journey of life and our humanity is epic. I am amazed at its beauty and miraculous unfolding, where at times I wish I had more to offer. With a burning desire for a peaceful world, I gather this much: that so long as there is unrest within me, where I remain a victim of my own action/reaction cycle, there will continue to be unrest in the world. My only purpose is to make peace with all that is. This peace from within me can than radiate and expand others to see the peace within themselves, thus creating a more peaceful world.
More often than I’d openly admit, I feel like an alien. I have no idea what this life is or what I am doing here; a stranger visiting planet Earth to revel in its magnificent beauty and uncover its sacred meaning. My human-ness is temporary and confusing, but I carry on. Our delusions keep us locked in cyclical patterns, some of which are contributing to the destruction of our planet. Our collective awakening, that which enables us to see our power and inherent responsibility in life’s prosperity, is the answer to end mass destruction and a way of breaking free from the chains of slavery which exist in all our minds. Our freedom is real. It is inside of us.
Let us begin our walk to freedom. This is a call to LOVE, that we may begin the unravelling, discipline our minds to love and awaken to our unlimited potential. “The truth shall set you free.” –Jesus
Let’s face it Jesus knew what he was talking about! Let’s join him and come together for a better future, a better life, in love and union.
Peace to all.