3 Keys to Un-fucking Yourself: How to Live an Authentic, Creative and Joyful Life

Let’s start this off bluntly. The world is fucked and we all know it. So, how do we un-fuck the world? No, not by blaming it for all our problems. We begin by un-fucking ourselves!

In life, there are these pesky little things we call EMOTIONS. Typically, only women have them and across the globe, we are taught to deny them, repress and push them down far enough so that they never bother us again. What’s happened though, is that after ages of denial and repression, we’ve squeezed the life force right out of us and are, in a very real way, a sick and dying world; fucked.

But wait. There’s hope. A brilliant and shiny future for humanity is possible. No one person has all the answers and the future is not gonna come wrapped in rainbows and unicorns. We are gonna have to work for it. We gotta make ourselves shiny from this inside out. We gotta buff out our insides (emotionally speaking), if we want to see a shiny new world. It ain’t straight forward and no one is gonna hold your hand to the finish line. You may need someone there with you along the way, in fact, we all do, but once the end is in sight, you gonna have to walk your tired, broken ass passed the red tape. Every. Single. Time.

Remember: The journey never ends. Just continuous life cycles. One marathon (or gentle stroll, mountain hike, surf adventure if you’d prefer?!) after another. Some simple, yet solid advice for living your dreams….JUST KEEP GOING.

But for a little more depth, here’s 3 juicy nuggets that have helped me un-fuck myself from a life of shame, poverty and self-loathing. I’m now flowing, loving my life and truly feel like an authentic-badass-joy-radiating-Goddess of Fearless Love!!!!!!!!!

3 Keys to Un-fucking Yourself

1. Emotional Awareness, Vulnerability & Resilience

We are lost in a vicious rat-race - running away from our own emotional pain. This widespread denial is ultimately what causes our disconnected, insane and cruel behaviour. Whether we are on a path of self-destruction or propagating stories of fear and violence, at the root of it all, is a core wound that perpetuates cycles of suffering. This core wound stems from a belief that we are separate, when in fact, we are all One. I know, this shit is deep.

Part of the paradoxical mystery of enlightenment and transformation is that it is deeply painful. And emotions are still misunderstood, demonised and ridiculed. We are afraid and have been programmed to fear our own bodies, emotions and indeed, one another.

Now, I am being radical here, because it comes from a deep inner knowing that mass emotional denial is what keeps people enslaved, and keeps a system of control and domination in power, feeding off of humanities unconscious and conscious fear. Really let that sink in. And freedom is simple. Start feeling your emotions with as much inner grit and fearless love that you can possibly muster from within you and claim your freedom. Then, you have to live it - facing, owning and transforming every layer of shame, guilt, embarrassment, loneliness and any other slew of dark emotional storms that come up along the way.

Emotions are the demons we are afraid to face and yet, those same demons bombard us day after day with news stories and drama-filled soaps that externalise your pain so that you can numb out and feel “normal”…and live a mediocre, mind-numbing, robotic life. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. If you’re feeling good about yourself and life. If you are miserable, however, know that there is something you can do to change. But my offer is not usually what people want to hear. You have to breakdown. Over and over again. That’s right, the emotional waves and storms keep coming…you just get better and braving the storms.

You have to start paying attention to your feelings (and thoughts) and you have to keep at it. You have to discipline your mind, expand your awareness and have the courage to dive deep into your emotional field. And LOVE all your dark and painful emotions.

Awareness: Let’s put it this way. If you are not aware of something, you cannot change it. Now, it would appear that there are things we want to change in this world. Fine. Great. Without sounding negative, it would also appear that we are just repeating patterns. War after war. Lies and deception. Blame and attack. Nice words masking greed and perversions. When it comes to our feelings, collectively (which just means mostly all humans), we both consciously and unconsciously fear our emotions, thus live in state of denial, repressing certain aspects of ourselves. We are systematically programmed to conform, in a dark and twisted way, to be cogs in the system, robots for a war machine and blind, numb consumers that question nothing for fear of not belonging. When, the truth is, every single one of us is completely unique and yet one thing we all have in common is a desire to be loved…to belong. Do you see the dilemma we’re in?

So great, we are all slaves. How to break free? Increase awareness. How, you say? Meditate. Stop making excuses. Sit down. Shut up. Close your eyes. Stop fidgeting. And breathe. Just sit there and pay attention.

Notice yourself. Feel yourself. It’s just you paying attention to you. That’s it. Notice your thoughts. Explore the sensations. Be curious about you - innocently ask questions and be open to receive. Really feel your breathe…like really feel it.

OMG. Who knew?! Getting to know yourself could be so powerful…Know Thyself…pretty sure there have been people trying to teach us this for a while.

That’s it. That’s all I’m gonna give you when it comes to you becoming more aware. There are plenty of other techniques, tools, practices, but meditation is a really great start.

Vulnerability: Part of the reason increasing awareness is important, is that you’ll need this awareness as a form of spiritual ammunition when it comes to being vulnerable. Real vulnerability comes down to brutal honesty, as life experiences help you to get to know yourself. As you come to know yourself, you must have the courage to stand in your integrity, truth or inner knowing, no matter how difficult the situation appears.

Vulnerability is the beginning of a deeper and more meaningful relationship with yourself, everyone else and all of existence. It really is profound.

The way I see it, vulnerability is surrendering to emotional release or breakdown. You just have to know that while you may feel like you are emotionally breaking down, in actual fact, you are being reborn.

Feeling is healing and the more vulnerable we let ourselves be, the healthier we will be. Simple.

Resilience: We all know the adage, ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ or ‘if you fall, dust yourself off and try again’. Somewhere at some point, we got really serious, life got hard and we turned against our selves (and because we are all actually one, this is why we have turned against one another). Now, we gotta feel the wounds, accept and let go, imagine something better, practice kindness and just keep going. Breakdown, breakthrough, rebuild. As many times as you please. Resilience, baby! JUST. KEEP. GOING.

1. Vision & Discernment

In order to create a life you love, you must have a sense of what that dream life looks like. Better yet, a tangible sense of what that life would feel like. And vision is not the same for everyone. For some, it is a feeling, something simple, easy. For others, vision is a very specific desired manifestation, seeing an innovative idea come to life or leading a people to freedom. Each of us is completely unique, so the way we feel and see into our own vision is a unique process and unfolding. And this is where discernment comes in.

In a world of fear and conformity, it’s as if we are all pretending to know what we are doing, while secretly spying on one another for fear of being caught out!

Since it’s your life and your vision, you absolutely must be discerning because a lot of people are going to try to tell you how to live your life. But it’s really all in you. So, get to know yourself, get to trust yourself, listen and follow through. Know that some people will want the best for you, others won’t. It’s up to you to discern the difference. Hint: it’s in your feelings and it’s about choosing the ones that feel right to you.

Discernment is subtle and it gets deeper and more refined with practice. So, like all this stuff, keep at it.

1. Focus & Diligence

Let’s keep this short.

Keep believing in yourself. If you’re tired, rest. If you’re sad, be kind to yourself and give yourself space and time to process your pain. Love yourself. Practice showing up for yourself and commit to living your most joyful life, even when you feel totally broken and powerless.

If you just keep believing (that’s focus) and if you just keep going (that’s diligence), one day your life will feel better, because you will feel better. And the people in it, will reflect all that love and commitment back at you. But first, you gotta be there for yourself.

And in conclusion - once you un-fuck yourself, people and the world, will stop trying to fuck with you.