The people closest to us are our most powerful teachers.
I realize that I have long been in a habit of pleasing people, looking outside myself for love and acceptance. The people I look up to the most for approval are, of course, my parents. How do I unlock my negative patterns around trying to please them? How do I free myself from the fear of losing their love, while upholding my truest Self? Well, what I have done today is pray for forgiveness, release and guidance.
I must sit with the hurt I have caused and feel it within, sans judgment and best not to overthink anything. During an emotional storm, thoughts are usually in attack-mode, looking for someone (this includes yourself) or something to blame for the intensity of painful emotion. Pounding pain, broken hearts, feelings of chaos, wrapped in confusion, delusion and emotional manipulation; old patterns die hard.
I scream at the top of my lungs, throw, break and shake from the anger and turbulence moving through me. I know that this is mine and still, our painful patterns hurt those we love. I know I must own and transmute this pain. How my words and actions affect another person has to do with their own reactive patterns, which I cannot do anything about. Feeling and expressing emotion is not something to be ashamed of, rather something to be grateful for. Here and now, my gratitude brings me peace. A feeling of love and compassion for all helps me to understand the situation with more clarity. I choose to no longer hold onto guilt and shame so, I look for loving ways of perceiving every situation, even the ones that are very old and deeply rooted. My presence, my ability to forgive and my willingness to let go are all powerful tools for coping with emotional storms. When you feel the pain, get down and pray.
I believe there is a way through every pain, every block and every challenge. However, I cannot make another see what I see. I can only ask for help and forgiveness and trust in the Universe. A friend of mine once told me, ‘the battle is already won’ and so, I continue to choose to see the world as a blissfully enlightened Paradise.
During the emotional storm, I asked for guidance. This is what I got:
There is only this Life, this One. There is nothing else. Healing and conscious transformation stir up old buried karmic emotional wounds, which are designed to re-awaken us to ourselves; our True Self. For only this pain can show us and heal us our grievances for ultimate release into the light of love. I am not alone, and yet my feelings are mine alone to be experienced, detached from any external blame, only allowing life to lead me and heal me along the path. There is no pain that cannot be healed, only we need to own it and feel it. We are a collective and so, this journey is ours, as One, and our only responsibility is to allow the healing process to occur, to allow others the freedom to be who they are and allow yourself to be who you are. The negative charge of repetitive emotional patterns is like the repetitive crashing of waves upon the shore, perpetually reminding us that there is more inner work to be done. There may be times of tranquility but storms will come and churn up those reactive patterns which may be dormant within us for years trapping us in the illusion of separateness and darkness.
Limited is not what we are, instead we are truly expansive and the only way to tap into this expansiveness is to transmute emotional toxicity and release that which does not resonate with your innate knowing of Love and Oneness.
We are born perfect, whole and complete. There is nothing that we cannot do. Let go and allow the process to reveal itself, allow Love/God/Source Energy to be your guide. You cannot fix the world or others, because there is nothing to be fixed; nothing we see outside of us is real. Look only inward and listen only for God’s voice. Heal and be humbled by the grace of God. Love is all there is, everything and anything else is spun out of the darkness, blinded by the illusion of the world and lost in the fear mind’s story, thinking it is real. Pain is part of the healing process and feeling is part of our human story. Now with the emergence of consciousness and what we call evolution, many past wounds are coming up for healing. Know too that suffering and attack perpetuate the pain, keeping us locked into old patterns that serve only to remind us of where we are blind to our own true Self.
Pray for peace, pray for release, pray for guidance and expect to get it. Dwell not in the story of your own misery, for it is this story that keeps us locked in toxic patterns that hurt us and therefore the people around us. We are not, any of us, inherently evil or wrong. Every single one of us is a glorious expression of Divine loving energy. Bear witness to the layers of attachment that run deep within, become observing of all the ways the mind attacks the external, mainly other people. This is bondage, breeding jealousy, fear, envy, bitterness and resentment, ‘it’s always someone else’s fault.’ And through this kind of fear-based thinking, we entrap ourselves through our holding of blame. This depth of pain born out of attachment must be felt. Suffering may take lifetimes to undo or may happen in an instant. Miracles are not of time, but of our own willingness to surrender.
Permission yourself to be who you are fully, and trust in the process. Attack is attack in thought, word and deed. When we can begin to see our attack thoughts, we can begin to shift these back to a more loving perspective by asking for forgiveness, guidance and release. By asking inward for loving guidance, we open up a crack in the window of our minds to allow some light, awareness and clarity in. This is enough. Our world is in a state of denial and fear, and yet, most of us are unaware. This is okay. All over the world, people are awakening to more expanded ways of being. With our own evolution, we are seeing an emergence of new communities and more loving ways of communicating, that are aiding us to transition into another dimension, where all our wounds are healed and grievances forgiven, for it is within us that the world is healed. This healing is the glorious creation of Heaven on Earth.
Stay tuned in. Stay connected to your most loving Self, for it is here that salvation lives. It will not always be comfortable, in fact, the rising up of emotional blocks is painful and part of our egoic mind can be very resistant to this process, always looking for someone to blame, always keeping ourselves down with fear-laden thoughts, ‘I am a failure. I am never enough. I am no good.’ Recognize these thoughts as lies, and focus on the breath, the feeling rather than getting wrapped up in the thinking. ‘This too shall pass.’
I am just a girl. I am a woman of planet Earth. I am One with all there is and no one can stop me from loving; no one can stop me from being who I am.
I pray for the world. I pray for peace and happiness for all.
Thanks for reading.