“All healing is essentially the release from fear.” – A Course In Miracles
I was taught the same thing as a lot of people out there. Firstly, that there is war and famine, violence and greed. Secondly, that there always has been and there always will be…don’t really worry too much about it, it’s just the way things are.
Being a woman, the subliminal (or totally overt) teachings were this: be pretty, smile, make sure everyone around you is happy (if they’re not, it’s on you) go to University, choose a fashionable career, get a good job, find a guy (ideally a wealthy provider type) and do whatever it takes to keep him (starve, inject, fight-off competition) and then, get married and live happily ever after. Riiiiiiiight.
Part of me writes this stuff like, as if! Is that really anyone’s actual reality? But I suppose it probably is. If this has been your course and you are sublimely happy and content, then more power to you! I am not here to judge, only to highlight that there are infinite possibilities for how we could go about living our lives. There are no real boxes to fit in to, no status quo, no rules and no one right way. All it ultimately comes down to for me is happiness. Are you happy, joyful and at ease with life? Or does life feel like a chore? Are you constantly re-arranging yourself to please other people? Do you feel like you are sacrificing a whole lot just to fit in, make money, please your family and do what you think is expected of you?
Along with this common, made up course for living, every year the population will likely suffer 2-3 colds, 1 flu and whatever new extra potent strain appears that year, be it swine, bird or cat flu. 1 in 4 will have depression, 1 in 2 will have some kind of eating disorder or body image issue, and the rest will suffer in silence because they’re not sure what’s wrong with them, there is just an ache deep down, a nauseating knowing that the anxiety of holding it all together, while living a lie will eventually tear them down. The guilt, shame and hatred will slowly take its toll and the pretty façade will begin to meltdown.
So what’s the message? Well, mainly, we are sick, something is wrong and there is an endless stream of problems to worry about that will never get resolved. I totally believe there are solutions within us, but too often we are just too afraid to be heard because the fearful beliefs we hold within us seem so real and menacing. The fear keeps us in line.
So what are we gonna do about it? Well firstly, intend to heal and along with that, be absolutely willing to drop any and all fear. Our ultimate task now is to break through the fearful illusions we’ve thus far created and soften ourselves into a new way of being more suited to our Eternal nature.
Here’s what I feel and think. In my heart there is balance, harmony, love, abundance and joy; the vibrations of excitement, powerful compassion and ecstasy. When I focus too much on the outer, the control, the manipulation, up-rises a grating disharmony, laced with conflict of desires and wanting unfulfilled. The sense of inner balance and joy brings up the ego retaliation, ‘balance is boring. Peace is a pipedream.’ Fear creeps in and I can feel burdens lay heavy on my heart. Fear of failure, fear of not being good enough, that I’ll never shake this sense of longing; that somehow my best self is always just out of reach.
The impulse to express bubbles up as I move through a flux of emotions from peaceful contentment to passionate rage, for all the pain and burden our experience involves with only an onward journey to carry on. What story are we telling? The deeper I go the more withdrawn I become, and yet I know a tribe is within me, a movement, a rising of minds ready and willing to awaken and start laying the ground work for an evolved human race, capable of being a more peaceful global community; a more balanced, intuitive world. This ache for peace forces me to go within, without fear of any consequence, only an allowing of a Divine force to take all burden from me and use me for peace. The depth and subtleties of living continue to amaze, soften and inspire me.
What was meant to be a two-week vacation and family visit has turned into a powerful healing. The painful burdens of the past can easily re-open wounds. The wounds have always been there, but now I realize how I’ve been unconsciously nursing them all this time, emotional holdings, the blindness of the ego’s shadow, telling you, ‘it’s just who you are.’ No, it’s only who you thought you once were. NOW, you are whatever, whoever you want to be and infinitely more.
I ask for Love, I ask for guidance. I ask for release. Because, of me, I can do nothing.
Indeed, how can I be anything but what I am? Perhaps, it’s just that, an acceptance of the shadows, the aspects of myself and others that make me angry, frustrated, jealous and unworthy. But, what of my willingness to be ever more honest with myself and others, to be freed from the burdens I have learned to place on myself and the ones I chose in order to make me the person I am. Without apologies or holding back, the apology’s a given. We are all already forgiven.
With years of meditation practice under my belt, and no signs of my mind being empty yet, what is happening is rather beautiful. I have come to a place of acceptance of my mind. I accept that it is there, that it is busy and it is conditioned by lots of things, mainly past experiences. What is amazing though is how a daily meditation practice is helping me to see my mind more clearly. With clarity, there is awareness, with awareness there is power. Power, in an all-inclusive, loving sense, is a really humbling quality. As we see the dictates of the mind, the unravelling cleansing process can begin. Our expanding awareness is our greatest asset. Our collective power lies in our shifting perspective, moving from a fear-based separate mind to a loving, One mind.
The reason I mention this is because I teach mindfulness meditation to people. People who are in pain; their bodies are burdened with fear laden thoughts and crippled by years of abuse. When I ask about what they know about meditation, most often people say, ‘I tried…and I couldn’t empty my mind.’ And then, of course, as a failure, we give up. Our egoic, fear-mind tells us we have failed, meditation is a waste of time and I am not really capable of change, so why even bother. We have conveniently become accustomed to quick fixes, instantaneous rewards and the idea of an outside miracle cure. From personal experience, I have seen miraculous shifts in behaviour, a release of painful alcohol abuse and much self-hatred, mainly through meditation and mindfully rewiring my thoughts. Mindfulness helps us become aware of the thoughts and then, when we catch thoughts that are not serving us, we can replace them with ones that do. It’s really that simple.
It may be simple, but it requires diligence and a continually deepening commitment to Love. Many are now learning how to retrain their minds. Patience is needed. Because we have been serving the fear mind for so many years, the layers need to be peeled back with love and an acceptance that we are always being guided to our best self, no matter how sticky a layer or situation may be.
Life as we know it is temporary. Our existence is Eternal. Remember this: It doesn’t matter how long it takes, because we are already there. There’s no rush because there is no deadline. We live in infinite time and space, and we are already perfectly healthy and happy. Our only real job is giving ourselves permission to be happy, blissful and radiant. Knowing that our essence is what keeps us going and it is that essence which will serve the world. Feed the essence, pay attention to it, listen for it; it’ll always tell you exactly what you need to hear, in a way that you can understand.
Healing is natural. So are miracles. Start believing in the healing light of your Love and begin to express who you are. The Universe is waiting to deliver. What will your message be? What gifts are you waiting to receive?
All to Love,
Molly :) xo